Bi Misconceptions – Bisexuality Awareness Week

Bisexuality is often joked about being “invisible” within the community. Although the number of bisexual people is about equal to gay and lesbian people combined, there is a lot of misinformation about it. So what is bisexuality? There are many different definitions, but the most popular is “attraction towards two or more genders”.


Now let’s go through some of the misconceptions about bisexuality:

        1. Bisexuality is transphobic

Bisexuality is not inherently transphobic. Someone who is bisexual can be attracted to men and women, women and nonbinary people, or any other combination of genders as long as it’s at least two. Trans men and women are men and women, so if a bisexual person is attracted to men and women, trans people are included in that. Some bisexual people can be transphobic, but it has nothing to do with their sexuality.

        2. Everyone is a bit bi

Maybe you are bisexual, but not everyone is. This is completely untrue, and it’s mostly used to discredit bisexual people. Some people are gay, some people are straight, some people are ace, some people are bi, and so on. Everyone’s sexuality should be equally respected and acknowledged, instead of pretending that everyone is bisexual. The beauty of sexuality and gender is that we are all different; we shouldn’t destroy that.

        3. It’s just a phase/internalized homophobia

Some people do identify as bisexual before realizing they’re gay, but many more people identify as straight before realizing they’re not. It’s okay to realize you aren’t actually bisexual, but the majority of people don’t suddenly realize they were wrong. Most people who are bisexual are as certain about their identity as straight people. No matter what, everyone’s identity should be respected.

        4. Bisexual people are more likely to cheat

Bisexual people are as likely to cheat as straight and gay people. They may be attracted to more genders, but just like a straight man doesn’t want to date every woman he sees, a bisexual person does not want to date every person they see.

        5. Bisexual people get straight-passing privilege

Yes, bisexual people are usually assumed straight when dating a gender different to their own. No, this is not a “privilege”. Anybody is able to pass as straight if they hide enough of themselves, and that is why “coming out” is a common event in the LGBTQ+ community. The ability to be ourselves is the entire reason the LGBTQ+ movement started.

        6. Bisexual people are just pretending to be bi for attention

Ok, you caught us, all bisexual people want attention. That’s exactly why I dislike everyone in a classroom watching me to the point that I can barely remember to not speak at 1000 miles per hour. In all seriousness though, bisexuality is no more a plea for attention than being straight is. If anything, the biphobia and homophobia that come with being bisexual make it a terrible way to get more attention.

        7.  Bi people are half gay, half straight

Bisexuality is its own sexuality. It is not half of anything. One metaphor to explain this is the color purple. You don’t say, “Oh, that color is half blue and half red”, you just say it’s purple. Bisexual people can have different amounts of attraction towards different genders, but they’re still bisexual, just like different shades of purple are still purple.

        8. Bi people in a “straight” relationship on TV aren’t real representation

Any relationship with anyone from the LGBTQ+ community is not straight, no matter what gender the people in the relationship are. Although some representation, like a woman leaving her girlfriend for a guy, contributes to other stereotypes and is bad representation, a bisexual man dating a woman is as valid as a bisexual man dating a man. Bisexual people already face a lack of good representation, so the representation we have is very important.

        9. Bi people love puns

Yes, because puns are pan-tastic. I know, I can’t bi-lieve I made such a terrible pun either…

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Some bisexual-inclusive charities:



Pros and Cons of Being Open With Your Sexuality

The notion of “coming out” is one that can be intimidating to a lot of people. Formally telling the people in your life about your sexuality seems a daunting task. This, among other reasons, is why I personally choose to be extremely open about my sexuality, with people in my regular life and on my robotics team. I openly discuss/mention my sexuality with people in my life and on my team, but I don’t make a point of specifically coming out. I am unapologetically bisexual.


But it wasn’t always that way. In order to live this way, being able to feel comfortable and secure is absolutely essential. When everyone around you knows that you’re bi (or any other orientation/identity), you will face some judgement and questions. You cannot let those things put doubt in your mind, you know who you are better than anyone else does. Reaching this point of stability in your identity can take a long time. For me it took several months, but for some people it could take years. That is okay. Once you reach this point, you may make the choice to be extremely open with your identity, or you may wish to be more private or reserved. The decision of how open to be with your sexuality/identity is entirely yours. But I’d like to share some pros and cons of being as open as I am and how they affected my decision to be who I am so publicly.




  • Less confusion


      • This is not to say that everyone will understand your identity, but there will be significantly less confusion as to how you identify. Everyone on my team may not understand bisexuality or what it means to me, but they do understand that I am bisexual and open to discuss the topic with anyone.


  • Sense of freedom


      • For me, coming out to people always created this type of weight on my chest, and for every person I came out to individually, only a small amount of this weight was lifted. Nowadays, I rarely feel this weight at all. There isn’t a weight on my chest because I don’t pressure myself to formally come out to every single person on my team. I don’t have to watch what I say to avoid outing myself


  • Spotting toxic people


    • Perhaps the biggest advantage to me of my openness, is the ability to identify people who are not going to be supportive of me. I’ve learned from personal experience that nothing is worse than coming out to a long-time friend to have them treat you poorly or start to distance themselves from you. One way I’ve been able to avoid this sort of drama and heartbreak is by being open and upfront about my sexuality. It gives others the chance to never become my friend if my sexuality makes them so uncomfortable. For me, this works, it might not work for everyone. Personally, if someone doesn’t want to be my friend because they know I’m bi, then so be it – I will be better off without those people in my life.



  • Others will out you


      • For me, this wasn’t a very big issue, but part of making this decision meant that, yes, people would know I was bi, sometimes without me ever mentioning it to them. However, this was still something I had to consider. When you don’t treat your sexuality as a secret, others won’t treat it as such either. You have to be okay with this because ultimately, it is going to happen in some capacity.


  • Keeping it from specific people


      • When you become incredibly open with your sexuality, you learn not to think twice about mentioning it, referencing it, and making jokes about it. This can be tough to switch off for certain people/atmospheres. For example, I’m extremely open on my team and  with other friends, but as of right now, I haven’t come out to my parents as bisexual. Oftentimes I have to catch myself when I’m around my family, to keep me from outing myself to them with a lousy pun. The other concern, much like with the previous con, is that someone will accidentally out me to my parents. For me, this wouldn’t be a dangerous situation, but an awkward one. Being even slightly selective with your openness (around family or a certain selection of people) can be difficult when everyone else in your life knows both about your sexuality and how open you are with it


  • General Bigotry


    • As I’m sure you could guess, when you choose not to hide your sexuality, you also put a target on your back for discrimination. Unfortunately, even though we have made great progress towards acceptance, bigotry still exists and can be very prevalent in some areas. You may experience discrimination or mistreatment in varying degrees if you decide to be very public with your sexuality. This may or may not be something you think you can handle. It can take a toll on some people more than it might for others.

How I Made My Decision

    Here I listed a few of the major pros and cons I considered when I decided I wanted to be extremely open. These can differ from person to person and their impact and importance can vary as well.Deciding whether you want to be more reserved or extremely open with your sexuality/identity is entirely up to you. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and be sure of who you are. You also have to evaluate the safety of being open about your sexuality in your current situation. It also has to be something you want, it simply isn’t for anyone. But for me, it has worked out very well and made me quite happy. Hopefully you find what’s comfortable for you and it makes you happy.

-Hailee 1747